I have no idea

I love my family.

But sometime, they enrage me.

To the point that I just don’t want to see their face again.

I went home recently.

I fought with my dad.

I did not agree with him for a lot of things.

I do.

We quite different but we both stubborn.

We fought and now I don’t wanna go home.

I have good relationship with my sisters.

While I also have good relationship with my brother but a lot of times I hate them.

Why?

For some reason.

I think I need a time to just be with me and not with them.

I know some time later, it’ll be good again.

Just for now I want to focus on myself.

Try to find me.

I lost something.

And I don’t know what.

Remarkable Young Women

Recently I'm into reading. Love story one. I love reading but love story, I didn't like it much. I was sceptical to read one because love story, a conflicts and I don’t like conflicts at all. I just want everything to be smooth. From the 1^st chapter to the end. I know. It’s ridiculous. What kind of book is that? It would be the most boring book ever in the world. I hate conflicts but as I grow up I realized we face conflicts every once or more in our life. Small conflict or huge conflicts. It happens all the time. All that things what make us to grow up. To find ourself. To change to better person. We can’t really live in uncomfortable state all the time. Sometime we have to face difficult thing. That’s life. As myself faced a lot of things in my life, I learned to love every challenges. And I started to challenge myself. Because I want to be something or someone that just don't live an ordinary life. I want more than that.

I like reading. I like it since I was kid. Most of the book that I read is mysterious kinda of book. A little bit of short story. Just not heavy kinda of story. But somehow I found this love story book. Quite interesting. I found myself really love that book that I finish it one go. Also which lead me to stay overnight till morning. But thanks God, I didn’t overslept or else I come to work late.

When I read this time, I find myself looks forward of what obstacles that the main characters faced, what their solution and what gonna happen at the end. Of course it will always happy ending which I love very much. But what most important is, the obstacles. The obstacles that lead to the great ending.

No obstacles no challenge. No challenge, no excitement. No excitement, a boring book. The obstacles that make people stay reading till the end.

And you know what, I love reading but somehow I lost the interest few years ago but I found it again. I might gonna love my weekend again. Now more bored weekend since I found something that was lost years ago.

I can lose in reading till late morning that I have to force myself to bed.

I lost in reading that I don’t mind to eat.

I lost in reading that sometime I look like a crazy person who laugh, smile, crying or scowl in less than 24 hours.

My books that I read recently focus on young women who get in relationship but still managed to have a good career. One of the book stated something like this ‘ You’re remarkable young women’. And I inspired to be one. To be a remarkable young women.

Yes I am.

Too much on the plate

Worry.
Worry for a lot of things.
New boss.
New experience.
Would I'll be okay?
No idea.
Hoping for new workplace.
Somewhere near my place.
But then I could only dream, am I?
Gotta work it out.
What I have now.
Someday I'll miss it.
Someday it will be only a history.

Choices.

Paths.

Decisions.

Wrong.

Right.

I learn.

Not to give up.

Rather to get up.

Start fresh.

A new start.

Doesn’t mean the past weren’t important.

Looking back, I am where I am right now because of the past.

The past made who I am now.

This the end?

No.

It’s always the beginning.